Curse you Google! I have long been paranoid with Google searches, or not so much paranoid as frustrated. Thanks to Google and other search engines (but Google the most) the various mistakes from our past never vanish! In fact anyone with a connection can dredge them out from the muck and leave a dear and sweet and innocent glass eating maniac feeling quite embarassed.

Quick review pulls up a few things which are just fine. There is one old video up on this one Myspace page belonging to an old Northampton acquaintance. Check that one out while you still can because that is one video which is not much longer for this world. Then there is something about some woman named Ella Glasser and something else about treasure hunters digging up Nazi plunder and the like, which is all well and good. The one interview I did for Ballycast is still popping up near the top and it did me some good to listen to it again, even though I do wince from time to time after all the things that have since happened. Some old video journal on my personal YouTube channel is found. Then there is some weird ass shit about internet glass companies and some shadey con-woman using the Glasserella name.

So the internet has quite the load.

I guess it is all fine. There is nothing too embarassing out there after all. Not even the odd echoes coming back up from an old website - dedicated to strippers and other such ladies - have me worried. It does feel a little weird knowing that people can just up and learn about my misadventures purchasing cocaine from exotic dancers but I have not touched the shit since 2007 so I guess that there is no reason to be concerned. In the meantime at least the internet (damn you Google search) has preserved this little gem entitled "Holy Christ We Suck" for all time:

lotusx3: (10:55:55 PM) i'm eating pocky and red bull
lotusx3: (10:56:04 PM) can we say weeaboo boys and girls?
Glasserella: (10:57:48 PM) lol
Glasserella: (10:57:50 PM) oh noooo!
lotusx3: (11:00:03 PM) ok. now there's j-pop
lotusx3: (11:01:48 PM) for miles around, women who have never met me have decided not to sleep with me
Glasserella: (11:02:57 PM) LOL
Glasserella: (11:03:09 PM) i am sitting next to a pile of kerouac and neitzsche
Glasserella: (11:03:22 PM) which means i am fast on my way to being too pretentious to ever get laid by anyone with substance
lotusx3: (11:18:38 PM) you've been too pretentious for awhile now
lotusx3: (11:18:47 PM) didn't you get that memo
Glasserella: (11:24:16 PM) no
lotusx3: (11:24:32 PM) office policy and all
Glasserella: (11:24:33 PM) i was too absorbed in my mocha frappachino with chai to notice it
lotusx3: (11:24:42 PM) you're now "too pretentious"
Glasserella: (11:25:00 PM) hm.
Glasserella: (11:25:17 PM) it is a good thing i am above such petty labels. the unwashed masses can believe what they want i suppose.
Glasserella: (11:25:26 PM) damn social evolution feels good.
lotusx3: (11:25:41 PM) see... the memo was right
Glasserella: (11:25:41 PM) i dont even -drink- mocha frappachinos anymore.
Glasserella: (11:25:53 PM) starbucks? -so- not where the hip is at.
lotusx3: (11:26:08 PM) yeah. that's connected to the leg bone
Glasserella: (11:26:18 PM) give me black coffee instead, so i can show the masses how i am so much better at being them than they are.
Glasserella: (11:26:21 PM) lol, haha.
Glasserella: (11:26:25 PM) yes, eugene. yes it is.

Hello world. I am back. It has been awhile and during the absence I have been involved in numerous personal changes. I quit drinking alcohol and also abandoned all other recreational substances. It has been a trial filled with embarassment and shame, as well as a depression that was so deep I had forgotten how to live. I am still amazed that I managed to pull through but - then again - being cut proof has always been my gimmic and here I am. But there was still the chance that entertainment would be left behind.

For now I am focusing on putting together a life that is sustainable. Seeking out a career as an emergency medical technician is parcel to that, and so is volunteering with the local rescue team. Education is going to take some time as well. So it looks as though Glasserella is gonna be real exhausted. But in time I will begin refining the old routines - up the sophistication and diminish the extremism - and looking for other performers in the area who are interested in starting a show for the local crowd. In the meantime I have begun breaking glass and putting together props and costuming but - for now - expect to read less about me and more about everyone else.

The design is also going to suck for little while. Apologies!